Imposter Syndrome is a feeling that occurs when you are successful in something but feel that “you are not really good” or that “your success was just luck”. This thinking makes you feel insecure and afraid that others will see that you are not truly capable.
Understanding the disease of thinking you are not good enough
Even when you have concrete evidence of your success, such as receiving praise, a promotion, or performing well, the feeling of “I’m not good enough” may linger. This mindset can lead you to:
- Lack of self-confidence
- Great fear of failure
- Trying to work too hard to prove yourself
- Loss of energy and joy in life
Real-life examples of Imposter Syndrome
Example 1: Someone who just got promoted
Scenario: You’ve been promoted to team leader, but you think, “I got the job because my boss didn’t have any other options,” and you’re starting to worry that your team members will see you as a bad fit.
Feelings: You doubt whether you can do the job well enough and fear that making a mistake will damage your reputation.
Fact: You got the job because your boss saw potential in you based on your past performance, not luck.
Example 2: Students who get high scores
Situation: You got the top grade in class, but you think, “I’m lucky the test questions matched what I studied, not because I’m really good.”
Feelings: You worry that you may not be able to sustain this success and that others will think you are not really smart.
Fact: High scores are the result of your own effort and preparation, not just luck.
Example 3: Successful Entrepreneurs
Situation: Your business is starting to make a profit and gain acceptance, but you think, “Customers just happened to choose me because there were no other options.”
Feelings: You feel that this success is unsustainable and you fear being seen as incompetent in the long run.
Fact: Your business succeeds because you plan and deliver products or services that meet your customers’ needs, not just luck.
How to Deal with Imposter Syndrome with Self-Coaching
1. Reflect and explore the truth: Instead of letting doubt take over, ask yourself questions to find the truth.
Self-Coaching Questions:
- Is there any evidence that I deserve this success?
- What have people around me seen in me that I overlooked?
- What are my past achievements?
Make a list of your accomplishments, such as completing projects, receiving compliments, or receiving awards, to remind yourself that you are worthy of your success.
2. Turn doubt into motivation: Use the feeling of “not being good enough” as an opportunity to improve yourself instead of letting it erode your confidence.
“Don’t let self-doubt diminish what you can do.”
Self-Coaching Questions:
- What additional skills can I learn or develop?
- What are the small steps I can start taking today?
If you feel like you lack skills in something, try taking a new course, reading a book, or asking a colleague for advice.
3. Talk to yourself positively: Stop criticizing yourself with negative words and instead, talk to yourself positively like you would a friend.
“The fear of not being good enough is just a shadow. Don’t let it blind you to the light.”
Self-Coaching Questions:
- If I talk to myself like I talk to a friend, what would I say?
- What kind of words do I want to hear from other people?
Try telling yourself, “I did my best,” or “I am capable and deserving of this success.”
4. Accept that you don’t have to be perfect: No one is perfect in every way. Accepting imperfections takes the pressure off and gives you an opportunity to learn and grow.
“Everyone is imperfect, but true success is accepting and improving yourself every day.”
Self-Coaching Questions:
- Am I setting unreasonable expectations for myself?
- What can I learn from past mistakes?
Change the mindset that “I have to be good at everything” to “I will try my best and learn from every experience.”
5. Practice positive self-image: Write down what you did well or what you are proud of each day to reinforce your positive outlook.
“Admitting you are good doesn’t mean you are arrogant. It means you know your worth.”
Self-Coaching Questions:
- What did I do today that I should be proud of?
- What is it about me that makes me different and valuable?
Journaling allows you to reflect on your thoughts and see small successes that can boost your confidence.
6. Ask someone you trust for advice: Sometimes, someone else’s perspective can help you see your own worth that you might have overlooked.
“If you feel inadequate for your success, ask yourself who you value most and what they see in you.”
Self-Coaching Questions:
- Who can I ask for advice or opinions from?
- Is there anyone I can talk to to reassure me?
Talk to your boss, coworkers, or a counselor about how you’re feeling. You may gain perspective that can help boost your confidence.
7. Celebrate small successes: Practice looking for successes each day, whether they’re small things like meeting a deadline or helping a teammate.
Self-Coaching Questions:
- What did I do well today that I should be proud of?
- How can I reward myself for this achievement?
Celebrate your success with activities you enjoy, such as watching a movie, going out to eat with friends, or simply relaxing.
Conclusion:
Overcoming the disease of thinking you are not good enough
“Your success is not due to luck, but to your own efforts and potential.”
Self-esteem can happen to anyone, but managing it with Self-Coaching helps you reflect, change your perspective, and see your true self-worth. Remember that your success is not a result of luck, but the result of your true effort, ability, and potential.
Recommended articles:
Assertiveness – How does assertiveness benefit us? In what ways?
