Being upset is a symptom that can easily occur and is common, especially for people working in this era because we live in a society where everything is urgent, everything is rushed, there is a lot of pressure, and there is high competition. Therefore, it is another reason that makes many people feel irritated or upset easily.
Examples of events that often make us feel upset include:
“A driver cut me off.” – I was angry, furious, and wanted revenge.
“I went to contact a certain office for work, but the officer acted indifferent and cold.” – Irritated, dissatisfied
“I went shopping, but there were a lot of people. I had to wait in line for a long time.” – Angry, dissatisfied
“A coworker criticized my work in a negative way.” – Angry, dissatisfied
“I had a fight with a coworker over a disagreement.” – I was angry and dissatisfied.
“Some of my colleagues have been talking about me behind my back.” – Angry, dissatisfied
“Being reprimanded by my boss in front of my coworkers for my mistakes” – angry, humiliated, embarrassed
“I worked so hard that I didn’t get promoted.” – Angry, sad, disappointed
“Boss, you gave an important project to our friend to do.” – Angry, disappointed
“There’s a very important department meeting, but my boss won’t let me attend.” – Disappointed
“The company announced that it will reduce its workforce by the end of this year.” – Anxiety, stress, fear of being one of them
“I got the opportunity to be the head of a new department.” – I was anxious, stressed, and afraid that I wouldn’t be able to do it.
Does this story or situation sound familiar in this era? We can easily get upset or have a bad mood. It may be because there are many situations that stimulate and push us to get upset faster than in the past, whether it is a mood that comes from our daily lives or a mood that occurs at work.
Reasons why we get upset
It arises from a negative perspective on the situation.
For example, being angry at your boss for not getting a promotion and forgetting to look at yourself, that you may still have many shortcomings that need to be fixed and improved, which is why you did not get the position.
Or stress, anxiety when knowing that the company is going to lay off employees, that is, causing anxiety and stress beforehand, without knowing whether or not you will really be one of them, or symptoms of anxiety, stress, fear of not being able to work well if you have to be a new manager, etc.
It is caused by our or other people’s behavior towards that situation.
For example, a driver cuts us off. He may be in a hurry or has something urgent to do. But if we get angry and furious and try to cut him off, it could lead to an accident or a fight. Is it worth it?
Or when going to do business or buy something and having to wait in line for a long time, we may forget that the staff may have been working hard all day because they have a lot of customers. Being angry, furious, or complaining to them will not make the line shorter or make us receive service faster. If we use our emotions to do something bad, it may cause a serious argument or fight.
If we open our minds, empathize, and understand the other side, we won’t get irritated or upset too much. There are actually many options, such as coming to buy or contacting later (because today there might be too many people) or doing something while waiting, such as reading a book or playing a game on your mobile phone or even working while waiting.
It arises from communicating with other people about that situation.
For example, between us and our colleagues, when we have different opinions, instead of choosing to use good methods and words to persuade them to agree or follow us, we do the opposite, which is to choose emotions as the basis and use arguments to win. This makes good ideas, good ideas, but presented through emotions, turn into bad things. And we may be seen as bad people in the eyes of others.
Or the problem of speaking without thinking, or speaking what is on your mind even though you know that what you say may hurt the listener. This can also cause conflicts in the workplace. In the end, the one who speaks first is us. We are the ones who start this conflict, causing us to be upset later.
It arises from our attitude towards other people towards that situation.
For example, we don’t like a certain coworker. Whenever that coworker talks about us in any way, we will easily get upset. Sometimes we still can’t find the real reason why we dislike that coworker. It’s probably not just a matter of dislike.
Or it may come from jealousy, such as jealousy of a coworker who got promoted instead of us, so we feel upset, dissatisfied with this coworker, and take it out on other coworkers or our boss, etc.
It can be seen that the factors mentioned above all come from our emotional control and emotional management. Being in a bad mood or in a bad mood does not create good results or the results we want.
The problem of being upset will disappear if we are aware of our emotions with mindfulness and use our wisdom to choose the best way to deal with that situation, while taking into account the good results for both ourselves and others (we should avoid creating problems or hurting others’ feelings).
Therefore, being emotionally aware or having emotional intelligence is very important.
And this skill has been ranked as one of the most important skills needed in an era where workers have to fight with Artificial Intelligence.
There are also many studies on the benefits of having emotional intelligence skills. For example, a study of 40 Fortune 500 companies found that salespeople with emotional intelligence skills outperformed average employees by 50%.
In terms of productivity, it is also found that programmers with emotional intelligence skills can work 3 times faster than general programmers (according to Mark Polman: “7 Bottom Line Benefits of Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace” ).
In addition, employees with emotional intelligence tend to be more focused, work better under pressure, work more efficiently, are more motivated by themselves, and in some cases, are more likely to inspire others.
And most importantly, good health because there is no accumulated stress, no holding back any small issues, making you a cheerful person and making you a good person to work with.
“No matter how bad things are, if we have emotional intelligence skills, we can manage our emotions and feelings.”
The topic of Emotional Intelligence is very useful. Everyone can apply it in their lives, both personally and professionally.
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A talented person, a capable person, but still has to make mistakes because of emotions.
