Don’t want to start over. Why do many people have this symptom? It may be possible that they are afraid of disappointment or mistakes that may occur if they make the wrong decision.
Of course, no one likes it, and no one wants to experience mistakes or disappointments like this.
But in reality, we cannot avoid these things because life requires decisions, so everyone has experienced disappointment and mistakes.
But there are some people (or many people) who cannot cope with the disappointments and mistakes that occur.
When disappointments or mistakes happen repeatedly, the result is that they become afraid and often feel anxious every time they start something new or try something new. The result is that they become a person who lacks confidence.
For example, one person, Ohm, is an accountant who has been working for almost 10 years and has a fear and does not want to start over.
Ohm came to me for advice that he had a new job offer from a famous multinational company, which came with a higher position to the manager level, which had more responsibility and of course a salary that was about 30% higher than before.
“The offer from the new place is very interesting.”
“That’s right. This offer is very good. I think you can decide easily.”
“No, brother. I can’t decide. Right now, I’m so confused. Part of me wants to go, but the other part of me is just worried.”
“Oh, why do you feel confused or worried?”
“I think I don’t have enough ability to do that position.”
“I’ve never worked anywhere else. I’ve only worked here. I’m afraid that if I go there, I won’t be accepted by my team.”
“The responsibility is very high. They have very high expectations for my work. I’m afraid I won’t be able to do what they want.”
“Another thing is that this position has a foreign boss. I have only basic language skills, so I’m afraid that I won’t be able to communicate with him.”
“I was scared and I didn’t want to take the risk again because I had made mistakes before and was disappointed here before. In the past, the big boss gave me the opportunity to work as an assistant manager, but I didn’t do well, I did very badly, to the point that everyone in the team got in trouble and they disliked me for a long time.”
“So, what do you think you’ll decide?”
“I think I will reject him. I don’t want to start over because I don’t fit in there. The current place is probably the best for me. I have been here for almost 10 years. I understand the job well and am very familiar with it.”
“If I go to work somewhere new and I make another mistake, I might lose my job. So I don’t want to put myself at risk.”
“Do you think I made the right decision?”
“For some, opportunities may be seen as obstacles.”
For example, in Ohm’s case, he didn’t make the wrong decision.
But his decision this time was based on his feelings and past experiences. He chose to stay in an area where he felt safe and without any risks.
“But our desire to feel safe or not to face risks may actually be cutting off our future.”
For example, sometimes when a good opportunity comes up in life, you reject it because you are worried that if you do it, you will make the same mistake as in the past. You are afraid that you will regret it, so you choose not to go.
Fears that arise from past disappointments can cause us to miss out on opportunities or hinder our progress.
“So how do we overcome these fears and anxieties?”
Opportunities may come to us only a few times, or if we reject them this time, they may never come to us again.
It is because of our fixed mindset attitude and thinking that we are stuck and cannot escape from the maze of our own fears and worries, such as Ohm’s symptoms, who does not want to start over.
Therefore, we need to change our perspective on the original issue with a growth mindset and framework.
For example,
“When faced with an opportunity or challenging task,” instead of worrying about not being able to do it or not doing it well, see it as an opportunity that will take us to a better place, and then gradually prepare a plan and find a way to deal with it in advance.
“When faced with a difficult task or a task that you are not good at,” instead of complaining or refusing to do it, see it as an opportunity to learn new things. You may gain new skills that bring new opportunities to you. Then, find someone to teach you or learn these new skills from someone who already knows how to do them, so that you can use those skills to handle difficult tasks.
“When faced with failure or disappointment,” instead of blaming others or shifting responsibility to others, view mistakes as normal and part of the learning process. Before successful people can succeed, they must go through countless mistakes and failures. But they made it through because they learned from the mistakes they made.
“When faced with criticism,” instead of feeling resentful or seeking ways to get revenge, view criticism as a gift. This is great information that we can use to directly improve ourselves. Avoid looking at this matter emotionally, but look at it with reason. This will allow you to see the benefits of receiving criticism.
With the idea, the attitude, and the framework of the Growth Mindset , these people are not afraid of problems and obstacles, which makes them achieve success at higher and higher levels.
Growth Mindset skills can be built. It can be easily started by believing in your own potential. Be confident that anything is possible through self-development, learning, and taking action.
And every mistake, learn from it, tell yourself that you are discovering another unsuccessful path, just try it in a new way, the result will be better than before.
Just by doing this, we will start to become a person with a perspective and a framework of thinking that is a Growth Mindset .
The concept of Growth Mindset is very useful and can be applied to both work and family life.
More information :
The story of Growth Mindset and Fixed Mindset comes from the book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success (2007) by Carol Dweck. There is a Thai version available at leading bookstores.
For more articles on Growth Mindset and Fixed Mindset, please visit:
What are Growth Mindset and Fixed Mindset? And How Do They Affect Us?
Fixed Mindset is a common problem in work or at work.
It’s easy to feel discouraged when faced with problems or obstacles.
